What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
