Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
