I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
