rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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