whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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