I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
