I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Green mimosas i think yes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
