Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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