I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
