It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
