mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
