i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
