8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
