Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
