he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
