Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
