How'd it feel making her break her religion?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
