He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
