So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
