I love black thongs
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
