Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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