This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she woke up with a sticky ear
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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