Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
