Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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