I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
