he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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