You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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