I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Every concussion has its silver lining
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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