Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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