All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
