Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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