He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
