This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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