thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
