I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
