I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
