I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
