How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize