I will die if light touches me.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
