The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
