According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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