yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
