Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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