i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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