I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize