So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
