You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
