Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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