When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
