Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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