Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
