she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize