She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
