Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
