ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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