"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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