i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
