And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
