just tell him i said nine months
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize