My sheets look like a crime scene.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need to calm my uterus...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You ruined the universe
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
