I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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